Reflections and Resolutions

As the quiet of the evening settles in, I find myself contemplating the transient nature of life. It’s an inescapable truth that people come and go, leaving us in the silence of our own existence. It’s hard for me to escape the fact that no one’s here for me anymore. On such nights, I often turn to the comforting glow of my Nintendo Switch, delving into worlds of fantasy. This night was one of triumph; I discovered the elusive dwarf settlement in Final Fantasy 1 and advanced to a new chapter in the game. It’s a small victory, but in the solitude of my lonely confines, it felt significant.

Lately, my diet has been less than exemplary, but I’m making progress, shedding weight and setting my sights on joining a gym. I’m laying out plans, ready to weave gym sessions into the fabric of my daily routine, either before my work shift or after the day’s work. Health is not just about losing weight; it’s about gaining vitality and strength.

In parallel, I’m polishing my resume, anticipating potential shifts in my career. My current job at the arcade is comfortable but no longer enriching. I yearn for growth, for learning, for a path that could lead to a career. While I’m grateful for my position, and while the possibility of promotion dangles before me, I know that my journey doesn’t end here. Explorations into technical roles have begun; my ambition is to become a man of value, of substance. Someone that you would be willing to fight for and need.

This drive for self-improvement stems partly from personal loss. The departure of my girlfriend was a wake-up call. I’ve come to understand that to be someone’s ‘catch,’ I must first catch up with my own potential. Fitness, career advancement—these are not just pathways to external validation but are steps toward self-respect and the kind of self-love that makes one truly attractive.

Work, a constant in my life, was bustling as usual, yet I allowed myself a respite on the final night of the workweek. Tomorrow beckons with the possibility of photography, a hobby that could pull me from the throes of exhaustion and depression. Yet, I might choose the sanctuary of home, a place where I can grapple with my reality and the understanding that I have much to work on.

Health concerns loom on the horizon, with surgery pending and a battle to improve my circulation. I will likely lose much of the person I was soon enough. Beet juice has become my ally in this fight, its ruby tones a daily fixture in my newly acquired Stanley Cup—a reminder of my father and his silly giant Bubba gulp mug. The simple, healthy choices that I hope will pave the way to a better future. Even though deep in my heart, I know she will never need me.

In these moments of introspection, I see a man ready to face his challenges and build a life of worth, not just for others but for the person who matters the most—myself. Each small, healthy decision is a step in a marathon, a race where the finish line is a better, stronger, more complete version of who I am.

And so, with each sip of beet juice and every press of a game controller’s button, I am reminded that life’s worth is measured by the moments we seize to improve ourselves and the resilience we show in the face of our deepest struggles