I realize now that all the times she pretended to care were just that—an illusion. It was all a façade, a game of pretending. In the end, people only care about themselves. They always do. It’s a hard truth to swallow, but I see it now. Everyone is only ever looking out for their own self-interest. True care, true love—it’s rare, if it even exists.
Today has been one of the hardest days of my life. Emotionally, it’s been a battle. I’ve been fighting just to hold myself together, trying not to break down completely. But inside, I feel like I’m dying, like I’m surrendering to the pain bit by bit.
Still, I’m going to stick to my plan. I’m going to hold on to my dream. Even though I’m completely alone, even though the world feels different, I’m going to document it all anyway. I’ll record it for myself, so that one day I can look back and see how much everything has changed. Just like I can look back on the last seven years and realize that I’m not in the same world anymore.
In the coming year, I’m dedicating myself fully to this project. I’ll spend every free moment revitalizing it, bringing it back to life. When I’m not working at my new job, I’ll be focused on this. Monday marks the start of something new, and as I adjust to the change, I’m hopeful. I’m excited for the opportunity, for a chance to prove myself.
I’m going to work hard—harder than ever before. I want to be strong. I want to be someone who can’t be treated the way I’ve been treated. I want to get in shape, get my mind right, and become successful. Maybe, someday, someone will see me, truly see me, and treat me with the respect, love, and dedication that I deserve.
But until then, I’m on my own. And that’s okay. I’ll build something for myself.