Sometimes, life throws you curveballs when you’re least prepared. For me, that curveball came in the form of a message from Katarina—completely out of the blue. And once again, it wasn’t for reconciliation or understanding. It was a reminder that she’s chosen a life that I no longer recognize, and more painfully, that my suffering means absolutely nothing to her.
I don’t know why she felt the need to reach out this time. Maybe it was to twist the knife a little deeper, to watch me squirm as I wrestled with the lingering hope that things could go back to how they were. She made it clear, though—there would be no explanations, no reassurances. She wouldn’t even try to help me understand the path she’s on, one that I once feared but now realize is reality. She has truly become someone I can no longer recognize, and in all the worst ways.
It hit me like a ton of bricks: not only does she have no intention of coming back, but she seems to take pleasure in knowing that my pain and longing mean nothing to her. In her eyes, I never mattered, and my existence might as well be erased.
As painful as it is to admit, the person I once loved is gone. The Katarina I knew—the one I shared so many memories and dreams with—is dead. There’s no point holding onto the hope that she’ll return. She won’t. And it’s time I let her go, as hard as it may be.
So, I’ll take her up on her unspoken request. I’ll start living as if she no longer exists. Because, in a way, she doesn’t—at least not the version of her that I loved. And from here on out, it’s about moving forward without looking back, no matter how deep the scars run.