I did it, Katarina. I survived my first week. It feels like a small victory, but it’s monumental in this journey of rebuilding myself. The boss even gave me a high five today, and I could see the genuine gladness in his eyes for hiring me. For the first time in a long while, I feel a flicker of hope that I can keep growing and improving. I bet I can go really far if I keep this momentum going.
Yet, amid this newfound success, I can’t help but wish you were around. I miss you all the time, more than I ever thought possible. It feels like you’re dead to me nowadays, and that thought alone is haunting. But rather than let that sorrow consume me, I thought it might be nice to write to you as though you were still here, still part of my life.
I’m doing really well, all things considered. I’m finally taking control of my life, one step at a time. My diet is under control again, and I’m working out consistently. Each drop of sweat feels like a tribute to the person I once knew—the girl who inspired me to be better. I push myself, not just for me, but in hopes that it might somehow make you happy too.
In my mind, I like to pretend you’re still here, cheering me on from the sidelines. I imagine us sharing moments of joy, just like we used to, and it brings me comfort in this chaotic world. Those memories, both sweet and bitter, fuel my determination to move forward.
Every day is a battle against the shadows of the past, but I am ready to fight. I want to honor what we once shared, not by dwelling on the sorrow, but by transforming that love into something positive. I believe that even if you’re no longer in my life, the impact you had on me can guide my path.
So here’s to new beginnings, Katarina. I’ll keep pushing ahead, not just for me, but for the ghost of the love we once had. I hope, wherever you are, you’re finding your own way too.
I miss you baby.