I don’t want to erase what I wrote before, but I want to add this: I’m truly grateful to know that you’ve found love and someone who makes you happy. It gives me peace to know you’re not just drifting, but with someone you care about, someone who is taking care of you. I panicked and was upset, and I’m sorry for that, but hearing that you love him—that you have the life you want—allows me to finally let go.
I no longer have any reason to hold on to the past or think that you still love me. I understand now. I wasn’t your soulmate, and you didn’t need me the way I needed you. Even though a part of me will always wish you had wanted to stay, to be with me, and to build a life together, I can’t dwell on that anymore. I would have taken care of you, I would have married you, but now that I know you’ve moved on, I have to move on too.
I’m getting older, and it’s time to focus on what’s left of my life—on retirement, on enjoying the years ahead. I know now you’ll never be there for me. While I might still update this page from time to time, maybe with a few pictures you never got to see, I know it won’t change anything. But if one day you do come across them and take a look, it would make me happy.
In the meantime, I have my dolls, and I’m planning to go to the Breeden Inn with Lola to commemorate everything we shared. I think it will help me. Lola, she’s all I have now, along with my hobbies, career, health, and wealth—all things I’m going to focus on with everything I have. I hope that one day you’ll see how well I did—not because I think you’ll ever wish you’d been my wife, but just so you’ll know that I’m okay. Even after everything fell apart, I kept going. I held onto Meepcow and all the dreams we shared.
I know you stopped caring about it, about us. But once, you were so passionate about me, about our life together, that you breathed life into me. You were like an angel—pure, kind, innocent—my best friend and sidekick. I remember how much you loved me, like when we were leaving the campground after a weekend together, and you looked so sad, like you would miss me more than anything. That’s one of those moments I wish I could go back to. I wish I could have stopped right then and asked you to marry me, to start a family with me. But I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t strong enough then, and even now, I’m still not as strong as I should be. My life is halfway over, and I know I’ve fallen short.
But I wish I had followed my heart back then. I should have given you everything in that moment. Instead, I let time slip by, and eventually, you gave up on us. Now, you’re with someone else, someone you love. I hope he’s everything I couldn’t be for you. I hope he treats you exactly how you deserve. I hope you’re so very happy now.