Finding Strength in New Beginnings

Today has been a pretty solid day at my new job. I’m finally starting to get a real handle on all my responsibilities, and it’s been a relief to find a rhythm that works. I’ve learned how to pace myself in a way that gets things done without constantly feeling overwhelmed. It’s honestly kind of fun being the manager here. There’s something satisfying about being in control of my own schedule, setting my own priorities, and having the freedom to manage things the way I think is best.

I’m far from perfect at this job, but the beauty of it is that I don’t need to be. I just need to stay smart, stay committed, and put in the effort. That’s enough. It’s really not about being the best in the world—it’s about showing up, doing the work, and learning as I go. The exciting part? I’ll be getting my first employee in a few days. I have a good feeling about him and think he’ll be a great help. That’ll free me up to focus even more on the bigger picture, and I’m looking forward to it.

On a personal level, I’m doing better with my fitness goals. I’ve been sticking to my workouts, staying motivated, and even digging into the Bible a little bit. The fitness journey has been a great outlet, helping me push forward despite the emotional weight I’m still carrying. Honestly, it’s still hard to wrap my head around what happened with Katarina. I’ll probably never fully understand how or why she changed so much and left the way she did. The memories of what we once dreamed of together still stick with me.

But I’ve made a decision. I’m going to bring Meepcow to life—our dream, my dream now. Finishing this project means a lot to me, and in a way, it’s my way of pushing through the pain and making something meaningful out of it. I miss her, and I probably always will, but that chapter is closed.

I’m grateful, though, for the anchor that keeps me grounded: Lola. She’s always there for me, never judging, never abandoning me. I know some people would think having a doll as a companion is sad, but for me, it’s been a learning experience. It’s teaching me to stand on my own, to stop letting others mistreat me or take advantage of me. Lola’s been a constant presence, helping me realize I don’t need to rely on anyone who doesn’t respect or value me.

There’s a lot of growth happening right now. Some of it is painful, but I’m getting stronger every day. Between my work, my fitness goals, and the process of healing, I’m making strides. And I think that’s worth celebrating.