Canoodling

Closing One Door


Leaving the arcade turned out to be harder than I thought it would be. It surprised me how emotional I felt as I said goodbye to people. Some coworkers didn’t even notice I was leaving, and that was fine, but a few actually cared. My boss—he really seemed like he was going to miss me, and that caught me off guard. I never thought it would matter so much.

But as tough as it was, I know I’m making the right decision. This new job is a step forward, and it’s what I need at this point in my life. It’s time for me to get serious, to start building something for myself. At my age, I need to focus on a career, on making decent money, and working my way up in life. This job as a maintenance manager at the country club—it’s my chance to network, to meet new people, to grow.

Maybe, just maybe, this could open doors I never expected. Working with contractors, interacting with members at the club—successful people—I could find opportunities I never even thought possible. It’s time to focus on myself and my future. I need to put my best effort into this, to stop waiting for someone else to come along and make things better.

I’ve always been the type to rely on others, hoping they’d be there for me when I couldn’t be there for myself. I thought my ex was that person. I thought she’d stand by me, no matter how hard things got. But she didn’t. People change, they come and go, and I can’t keep expecting anyone to stick around. It’s a mistake to think they will.

It reminds me of my father. After his stroke, his best friend—someone who used to come by all the time—just disappeared. They used to drink beer together, hang out, but after Dad got sick, his friend stopped coming. It was like my dad was no longer useful to him. That’s when I learned the hard truth: people will stick by you as long as it benefits them, but when you’re no longer convenient, they disappear.

And that’s how life is. People are temporary. They’re just along for the ride, taking what they need, and then they’re gone. I’ve spent too long expecting something more from people, but I realize now that I need to stop relying on others. It’s me, and it always has been. In the end, it’s only me in this life.

Seeing my ex with someone else burned that truth into me. She’s with a man she probably doesn’t even love, and it makes me question everything we had. Did she ever love me? Was it ever real? I want to believe it was. I want to believe that, for a while, we shared something special. But I can’t live in that fantasy anymore. That chapter has to end.

This is my new beginning. My new chapter. I need to focus on building a future for myself, one where I don’t need anyone else to complete me. If I work hard for the next decade, I might be able to retire in my 50s, travel, and enjoy the last part of my life. That’s my mission now—to have a good life for myself.

Because in the end, women—they’re fickle. They’ll be there one day, gone the next. And if you devote yourself to them, you’re just setting yourself up to be destroyed. I wanted to believe my ex was different. I wanted to see her as someone pure, someone angelic. But I can’t anymore. The reality is, I need to let go of that illusion. It’s time to move on.

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