Canoodling

Clinging to Hope



I’m just so glad she’s in love with him, that she found someone who makes her happy. She told me she loves him, and I want to believe her—want to believe that somewhere within her, the sweetness I once adored still remains. Katarina was my whole world, the only person I think I’ll ever love, and the thought of her being different from the girl I knew tears at everything I hold dear.

I couldn’t bear to imagine her as someone drifting through men at the bar, caught up in fleeting moments, having casual encounters. That would unravel everything—the person I cherished would be lost, and I’d be left with nothing but a shadow. I want so desperately to know that the person I loved was real. That the love I felt for her wasn’t built on illusions. I hope, with everything in me, that she was always the girl I believed in.

I’ll hold on to this prayer, this whisper in the dark that gives me peace. Please, God, let her be happy, let her be in love. Let her find something true, something real. And let me remember her as she was—kind, innocent, and full of light. Let that be the memory I carry, the piece of her I keep, even as I walk forward alone.

Help me let go of this pain, God. Help me see past this grief that has become like a weight on my chest. Give me strength to move on, to trust that there’s a purpose, even if it’s hidden from me now. I don’t want bitterness to settle in. I don’t want my heart to close off from the world. Just help me find a way to keep believing in love, in goodness, in something beyond this hurt.

I know I have to find my path now, and I’ll hold on to whatever hope I can. I’ll try to be at peace, knowing she’s found a place for herself in this world, even if it’s not with me. And I’ll keep moving forward, trusting that someday, I’ll make peace with it all.

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