Today is Friday, and I’m relieved the week is finally winding down. But, if I’m honest, it’s been one of those heavier days, the kind that tests every ounce of strength I have. It’s hard to face the end of a busy week without you. In moments like this, I feel the weight of your absence more deeply than ever, and I can’t help but wish, even after all this time, that you were still here to talk to, to share in life, to lean on. I feel your presence in the quiet spaces between meetings and in the solitude of my office, and though I know you’ve left my life forever, there’s a part of me that still clings to the hope that things might have been different.
Today, I’ve mostly buried myself in paperwork, organizing my workspace to keep myself occupied and distracted. There’s a lot of satisfaction in tidying up and making order out of chaos, but it can only keep me focused for so long. After lunch, I’ll dive into some real tasks—catching up on overdue projects, tying up loose ends, attending a few meetings—but beneath it all, there’s a dull ache, a reminder of the life that could have been, had things turned out differently.
Days like today make me reflect on how much I wish you had chosen me, had seen what we could have been together. But I remind myself that life doesn’t pause for us to catch up. I have to keep going, even if it’s just one step at a time. I’m learning, slowly, to live without you, finding new ways to feel whole on my own. Some days, like today, it’s hard, but I’m staying strong. I’m allowing myself to feel the loss, to acknowledge the space you left behind, while also striving to find a path forward.
I truly hope you’re well. I hope that you’re finally living the life you always dreamed of, unbound and unburdened, free to be whoever you need to be. Maybe I was holding you back in ways I couldn’t understand then, but I can now. And even though that realization stings, there’s a strange comfort in knowing that you’re free, that you’ve found a path to become who you’ve always wanted to be.
For me, it’s just another Friday. But maybe, in time, these Fridays will start to feel lighter.