Month: November 2024

Today, the absence of Katarina feels like a gaping hole in my soul. The longing to hear her voice, to share a simple moment, is almost unbearable. I find myself replaying memories of “us” – dreams of a future where we built a life together, a life she chose to walk away from.

It’s a bitter pill to swallow, seeing the path she’s taken. The woman I loved, the woman I envisioned growing old with, seems lost in the haze of barroom lights and fleeting connections. It’s a stark contrast to the future I craved – a future filled with quiet evenings, shared laughter, and the comforting rhythm of daily life together.

The pain of her absence is a constant ache, a dull throb that intensifies with every passing thought. I mourn the loss of her, the loss of “us,” and the shattering of the dreams we once shared. It’s a grief that sits heavy on my chest, a weight that threatens to pull me under.

Yet, amidst the sorrow, a flicker of resilience ignites. Her departure, though devastating, has been a harsh but valuable teacher. It’s forced me to confront a painful truth: I cannot rely on anyone else for my happiness or fulfillment. My strength, my foundation, must come from within.

This realization is both liberating and terrifying. It means facing the world on my own, building a future without the partner I yearned for. It means finding joy in solitude, embracing independence, and accepting the possibility of a life lived solo.

The journey ahead will undoubtedly be challenging. There will be days when the loneliness is overwhelming, when the ghost of our past haunts my every step. But I am determined to rise above the heartbreak, to forge a path of my own, and to discover a happiness that is solely mine.

Katarina may be gone, but the lessons she inadvertently taught remain. I will carry them with me, not as a burden, but as a reminder of my own strength and the enduring power of self-reliance. This is my new starting point, a chance to rebuild, to redefine myself, and to embrace the unknown future with a newfound sense of purpose.

Well, if you’re there, it seems like I’m finally settling into a groove at the new job. It’s a whole new world for me, being my own boss and setting my own pace. And the best part? People actually seem to respect my opinion! It’s a novel feeling, being looked at as someone who knows a thing or two.

This newfound confidence has got me thinking about, well, confidence. Or rather, the lack of it. Truth be told, there haven’t been many people in my life who made me feel like I truly mattered. But there was one exception. Someone who made me feel like I could conquer the world. Someone who shared incredible adventures with me, creating memories I’ll cherish forever.

And to that someone, if you’re reading this, I just want to say… I’m sorry. I messed up, and I deeply regret how things ended between us. You deserve all the happiness in the world, and I truly hope you’ve found it. I’m trying my best to move on too, though it’s easier said than done. This is my attempt at a clean break, a promise to myself to stop clinging to the past. No more emails, no more reaching out. It’s time to focus on the present and build a future I can be proud of.

Speaking of building, I’ve been building myself up – literally! I’m on a mission to get in shape, I bought a bench and I’ve been lifting deadweights with a vengeance. Cycling, lifting weights, the whole nine yards. And guess what? I’m actually seeing results! It feels amazing to push my limits and see my body transform.

Of course, it’s not all sunshine and roses. Last night and this morning I woke up feeling a bit under the weather. Just a general blah feeling. Hopefully, it’s nothing serious.

On the work front, today’s agenda includes some electrical work (rewiring emergency lights – exciting, I know!) and constructing a handicap access area. It’s pretty cool how I’m constantly learning new skills on the job. Yesterday was a plumbing adventure – a leaky toilet with a rusted screw and a faulty shut-off valve. Talk about a mess! But hey, I fixed it, and that’s what counts.

Alright, time to get this show on the road. Wish me luck with the electrical work!

Today marks a bittersweet anniversary. Seven years ago, I embarked on a journey of love and hope, dreaming of a future filled with shared laughter, dreams, and a family of our own. However, life took an unexpected turn.

Almost a year ago, my heart shattered into pieces as my partner chose a different path. The woman I envisioned as my forever companion, the one with whom I’d build a life, left me behind.

Today, as I navigate the complexities of this day, I’m reminded of the life we could have had. A life filled with joy, love, and the promise of a future together. But that future, once so vibrant, has faded into a distant memory.

Despite the pain, I’m determined to move forward. I’m focusing on personal growth and striving to be the best version of myself. While I know she’s moved on, it’s a difficult truth to accept. I’m learning to let go of the past and embrace the uncertainty of the future.

As I go about my day, tackling work challenges like designing a handicap-accessible area, I’ll keep my head down and my heart focused. It’s a small step, but it’s a step in the right direction.

Though the road ahead may be long and winding, I’m committed to healing and finding happiness. One day at a time, I’ll overcome this heartbreak and emerge stronger.

“Man, today was one of those weird ‘adulting’ days where it felt like I spent the whole time just getting ready for the rest of the week. I finally got the truck put away in the garage, which feels like a major win. Gave it a good wash and check-up too – new brake lights and even filled up the tires. Boring stuff, I know, but it always feels good to get that kind of maintenance out of the way.
Laundry, of course. Does anyone actually like doing laundry? I made a dent in it today though, and that’s always a plus. I also made sure we had plenty of groceries, especially eggs. I love eggs.
It’s kinda funny how you need a whole day just to prep for the week ahead, but it makes sense I guess. I like having my chores done and the house in order so I can focus on other stuff the rest of the time. Makes me feel more on top of things.”
Let me know if you’d like me to add anything else or change the wording!

Today was a down day for me. I didn’t feel very good, and I didn’t really do anything. I just stayed in bed and played metaphor. I’m hoping that tomorrow will be a better day.

Today was a whirlwind at work. Emails, business deals, clubhouse repairs – you name it, I did it. I actually thrive on this kind of busy pace. It keeps my mind occupied and, if I’m being honest, helps me avoid dwelling on my ex.

The truth is, breakups are tough. And the urge to revisit old haunts, to retrace the steps of “us,” is strong. This weekend, I was tempted to do just that, to immerse myself in memories of our time together. But I know deep down it would only stir up more pain. She’s moved on, and I need to do the same.

So instead of dwelling on what was, I’m focusing on what could be. I’m thinking of starting a small business, maybe using a laser engraver to create cool things like multi-layer anime cutouts or even intricate MDF dollhouses. It’s an exciting prospect, and the creative outlet would be a welcome distraction.

To get the ball rolling, I need to dust off my old resin 3D printer. It’s been neglected for far too long. Getting back into that will be a good first step towards building this new chapter.

But for now, I think I’ll stick to a simpler plan for the weekend. A quiet morning at Conestee Park, camera in hand, capturing the beauty of nature and its feathered inhabitants sounds like the perfect balm for a weary soul.

It’s time to focus on myself, to rediscover my passions, and to create a future filled with new possibilities. It’s time to let go of the past and embrace the healing power of a sunrise, a quiet moment, and the gentle flutter of wings.

Today was one of those days where it felt like everything was hitting me at once. I found myself reaching for comfort in the strangest places – dark chocolate and steak, to be exact. Not exactly the healthiest combo, but hey, we all have our coping mechanisms, right?
Then, there was the social media thing. I saw my ex posting all these new pictures and it was a little weird, but honestly, I felt a weird sort of inspiration. It made me think about how far she’s come and it kinda lit a fire under me to keep working on my own stuff.
The whole situation had me thinking a lot about how life takes us on different paths. It’s been tough accepting that our paths don’t cross anymore, but I know it’s true. I’m slowly learning to be okay with it.
To top it all off, I had to stay late at work for a stupid meeting. I’m beat, but I’m hoping tomorrow will be a little less eventful.

Today, I’m finding it hard to keep my head above water. It’s one of those days where the weight of everything feels a little too heavy. I’m struggling to see the point of it all. The blog posts, the vlogs, the countless hours poured into hobbies – do they really matter? It’s hard to stay motivated when it feels like I’m shouting into a void.

Katarina’s absence has left a big hole in my life. Losing her support and friendship has made it even harder to stay positive. I miss having someone to talk to, someone who understands. It’s tough to keep going when you feel alone.

Despite these feelings, I’m determined to keep pushing forward. I know that giving up isn’t an option. I’ll keep working on my projects, one step at a time. Maybe someday, it will all be worth it.

For now, I’m just trying to stay focused and find joy in the little things. I’m not sure if I’m up for the picture project this weekend, but I know I have to try. It’s important to keep moving forward, even when it’s hard.

Time sure flies when you’re having fun! Today was another one of those days that seemed to disappear in the blink of an eye. I’ve been completely absorbed in Metaphor, this incredible new game that’s captured my imagination. I’m so hooked that I actually woke up extra early this morning just to squeeze in a few hours before work. Three hours flew by, and it was pure bliss!

Lately, I’ve been making a real effort to prioritize my hobbies and carve out dedicated time for them each morning. My current routine involves getting up around 1 a.m. (yes, you read that right!), hopping on my stationary bike, and catching up on some of my favorite YouTube channels. I love watching Jo Jo, Digimon vlogs, and fitness vlogs while I cycle – it’s the perfect way to get the day started. After my workout, I dive headfirst into the world of Metaphor. Those early morning hours, before the rest of the world wakes up, are pure magic.

Honestly, these hobbies have been a lifesaver. They provide a much-needed escape and help me keep my mind off the emotional rollercoaster I’ve been on lately. My ex’s decision to end our relationship and her subsequent silence have been incredibly difficult to deal with. While I’ve come to accept the situation, the pain still lingers. Keeping busy and focusing on things I enjoy has been crucial in navigating this challenging time.

And speaking of busy, my work life is anything but dull! This week is jam-packed with a variety of tasks, from overseeing roof repairs and designing a new parking lot to tackling some electrical rewiring. The diversity of projects keeps things interesting and ensures that there’s never a dull moment.

Life throws curveballs, but finding solace in hobbies and embracing the challenges that come my way is how I’m moving forward. Here’s to early mornings, engaging hobbies, and the constant opportunity for growth and discovery!

Some days, the weight of absence is unbearable. Now that the finality of our separation is etched in stone, it’s a constant battle against despair. You were my universe, my everything. Even now, my thoughts are consumed by your memory.

To cope, I cling to a desperate hope. I delude myself into believing that if I strive harder, you’ll return. That you’ll finally see me as I am, and want me back. But deep down, I know it’s a futile dream. The harsh reality is that I am alone.

Yet, solitude is not entirely unfamiliar. I’ve spent countless hours in my own company. It’s a familiar, if often painful, state of being. Today, I find solace in work. I’m immersed in new projects, relishing the challenges of my managerial role. It’s a distraction, a way to keep my mind occupied and my heart somewhat at bay.

I hope you’re happy, wherever you are. I hope you’re living life to the fullest, pursuing your dreams. Though it pains me, I take comfort in knowing that you’re free to be yourself.

As I navigate this void, I’ll keep moving forward, one day at a time. I’ll learn to embrace the silence, to find strength in solitude, and to heal the wounds that time, I hope, will mend.